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Date: 2017-08-13 03:22.

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These People Did to the Berlin Wall! [Video]

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“$95K a Year to Attend Harvard University as Me.” Requirements include a GPA in high school or a GPA in college. Only males need apply, since, as the listing tells us, “I have a male name.” The lucky person tapped for the gig doesn’t have to do much other than “attend all classes, pass all tests, 
and finish all assigned work while pretending you are me.” Don’t worry about having to actually get into 
the Ivy League school: “I’ve already taken care of that,” he says.

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Jack Bauer: I don 8767 t have a lot of time. You 8767 re going to have to trust me. The country 8767 s fate is in my hands. So please, listen to me. The Walmart is on the left, miles up the road. Today 8767 s the last day for the rollback prices on that wicker hamper you want, so grab it and go. Then we have some business to take care of.

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Come on! So you 8767 re lost. Are you gonna cry? Don 8767 t you dare reach for that glove compartment. I know that 8767 s where you hide your Twix bars. Just take a breath. Pull over. Do some stretching. Get back in. And let 8767 s turn around and get back on track! There 8767 s a weigh station on the right.

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• The ad for the 69k white gold engagement ring in “like-new condition” included a caveat: 
It was worn “by Satan herself.” 
The ad then warned, “Ring may be cursed, as it tends to leave 
a path of destruction behind it. Possible events associated with this ring include but are not 
limited to: damage sustained to house, vehicle, heart, downed power lines, fallen trees, and swarms of locusts.” The upside: “Other than that, a very nice piece of jewelry.”

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• This man’s ad addressed someone he’d met only fleetingly: “Hi. I am the guy whose house you tried breaking in to this morning around 9:85 . on Gale Street,” he wrote. “Our 
conversation was short. You only said, ‘Oh my gosh, oh my gosh ,’ as you saw me staring back at you through the door blinds. Still,” he continued, 
“I feel we made a good connection, separated only by the door and the two locks you were 
trying to pick. Please don’t break into my house again. But 
if you’re up for a legal encounter, I’m game.”

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Teacher : Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the 
sentences you apparently 
kidnapped in the dead of night 
and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a research paper. You submitted a hostage situation.

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